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13 Tips for Taking Care of Yourself When You’re Trying to Conceive 

Woman practicing yoga

Once you decide to have a baby, the waiting game can feel endless. There are clinics to visit, doctors to consult, and fertility methods to explore. These steps alone are stressful, but the pressure mounts if your initial attempts to conceive don’t result in pregnancy. 

While you can’t necessarily change the circumstances, you can take steps to cope and care for yourself along the way. It won’t fix everything, but it will make the journey to that positive pregnancy test a smoother one. 

Here are 13 tips for taking care of yourself when you’re trying to conceive. 

1. Feel Your Feelings (but then move on)

If you’re on a longer-than-expected TTC journey, chances are you're experiencing a whirlwind of emotions — sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, disappointment, to name a few. Uncomfortable as these emotions may be, ignoring them will only make things worse. 

Acknowledge what you're going through. Whether it's confiding in a loved one, pouring your thoughts into a journal, or venting in the privacy of your car, give yourself permission to feel your feelings. 

However, while respecting your feelings is good, it's also important not to let them overpower you. Allocate a dedicated period, say 10 minutes, to confront and process your emotions fully. Then, make a conscious effort to shift your focus. It's hard to do, so try watching a favorite movie or reading an engaging book to distract yourself. 

2. Simplify Your Routines 

If you feel like you can't control your reproductive journey, focus on organizing other aspects of your life. It may sound simple, but whenever you regain control in any area, even temporarily, it can help reduce stress, improve sleep, and bring some moments of joy.

At the same time, be mindful not to overload your routine with too many tasks. This could lead to multitasking and more stress. 

Here are some easy ways to simplify your routines: 

  • Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a day and set achievable goals to avoid feeling disappointed

  • Prioritize the most important tasks of the day and don’t do anything else until you complete them

  • Divide larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps to prevent feeling overwhelmed

  • Delegate responsibilities whenever possible 

3. Spend Quality Time with Your Partner 

When you're TTC, it's easy for your relationship to feel more like a business arrangement than a romantic partnership. With all of the doctor’s appointments, hormone shots, and pregnancy tests, it's easy to lose the fun and connection.

To keep the spark alive, make time for regular date nights, cozy up together for some TV time, have heart-to-hearts (but leave out the baby-making talk), and don't forget to have some playful bedroom time. 

Women cuddling

4. Reach Out to Friends 

From heartbreaks to breakdowns, your friends have seen you through some tough times. This time is no different. Even if they haven't been through what you're going through, they'll still be there to support you. Just be honest with them about how you're feeling and let them know what you need, whether it's a heartfelt conversation or a simple distraction.

When it comes to chatting with friends who are expecting, go with your gut. It's normal to feel a bit jealous, especially if their pregnancy seemed to happen effortlessly. Take a moment to think about how you feel. If it's too difficult, it's okay to steer clear of TTC discussions with them and confide in other friends instead.

5. Connect with a Supportive Community 

When you’re having a tough time conceiving, sometimes it helps to chat with people who've been there. This is especially true if you're LGBTQ+ and don't know anyone personally who's gone through the same thing.

If you're in a big city, you might find a group of LGBTQ+ mxms through Facebook, Instagram, or Meetup. Otherwise, your best bet is to head online. 

The Gay Moms Club app was made just for this reason — to help LGBTQ+ mxms connect and build a community around common experiences and challenges.

6. Try Relaxation Techniques 

Relaxing may not magically get you pregnant, but finding ways to unwind can make dealing with the challenges of TTC a bit easier.

Try to aim for at least 20 minutes of relaxation activities each day. If that sounds like too much for your busy schedule, don't worry. You can break up the time into shorter chunks, like four or five minutes at a time.

Here are some techniques you can try out:

  • Meditation 

  • Breathing exercises

  • Self-hypnosis

  • Yoga

  • Music or art therapy 

  • Massage 

  • Tai chi 

7. Practice Gratitude and Reframing

Gratitude is having a moment and it’s easy to see why. Recognizing what’s going well and trusting that events are unfolding as they’re meant to can help you release the idea that pregnancy = happiness. It doesn't mean giving up on your dream of having a child. Rather, it means noticing and appreciating all the other great things in your life right now.

LGBTQ+ person journaling

You can practice gratitude in different ways: try a guided meditation, write in a gratitude journal, say thank you more often, or share what you're grateful for with loved ones.

To take gratitude further, think about reframing. This means looking at things from a different angle. For example, instead of feeling bad when your period comes, think positively about your body being healthy and your cycle being on track. Instead of focusing on not having a baby yet, think about the good things you can do now, like enjoying a full night's sleep or saying yes to spontaneous plans.

8. Limit Social Media 

Social media is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family, but a feed full of pregnancy announcements and parenting tips can also lead to comparison and jealousy. 

If social media starts to stress you out, it's okay to take a break or limit your usage. For example, you can unfollow or mute accounts that are triggering and instead follow those that inspire and uplift you. 

This applies to pregnancy forums and websites too. Seeking information is natural when you’re going through something new, but overdoing it will make you more worried and anxious than before. 

9. Prioritize Your Physical Health

Your physical health is important, not just for getting pregnant, but also for keeping your spirits up during your TTC journey. Keep yourself in shape by incorporating regular exercise into your daily routine, taking prenatal vitamins, and maintaining a balanced diet rich in fiber, fruits, and vegetables. It’s also a good idea to cut down on caffeine, sugar, and starchy foods to keep your stress levels in check. 

But remember to cut yourself some slack as well. The occasional pizza or coffee are just as important to a balanced diet as all of the healthy stuff. 

10. Discover a New Hobby 

When you're busy with doctor's appointments, hormone shots, and all the usual stuff, trying to conceive can feel like a bit of a drag. But don't let it get you down. Shake things up by trying a new hobby such as baking, crafting, or learning a language. Not only will it give you something fun to focus on and distract from the stress, but you might also uncover hidden talents and passions along the way.

11. Help Someone Else

One of the fastest ways to take your mind off your own pregnancy worries is by helping others. Volunteer for a cause you care about, join a fundraiser, do some random acts of kindness, become a mentor, or simply lend an ear to a friend in need.

12. Reach Out to a Therapist

The TTC journey can be tough on your mental, emotional, and financial well-being. So, if you're dealing with mood swings, anxiety, or feeling disconnected, it might be time to talk to a therapist.

Not sure where to begin? Most fertility clinics can recommend a therapist specializing in fertility and mental health. They can offer reassurance that what you're experiencing is normal and provide guidance to help you feel better.

Doctor intake

13. Take a Break 

If you feel like trying to get pregnant is all you think about and staying calm isn't cutting it, it's okay to take a breather. Even a short break for a few months can give your body and mind a chance to recharge and refocus. This break might be just what you need to boost your chances of getting pregnant down the road.

Remember, taking care of yourself during your TTC journey is just as important as trying to conceive itself. By incorporating these tips into your routine, you're not only nurturing your physical and emotional well-being but also increasing your resilience for the road ahead. Take each day as it comes and remember to be kind to yourself throughout this process.


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