top of page
Writer's pictureAudrey Hickey

6 Reasons Why a Lesbian Couple Would Choose Surrogacy

Updated: 3 days ago

When you think about surrogacy, who comes to mind? Probably a heterosexual couple struggling to conceive. Or maybe a gay couple, unable to carry a child due to biology. You might even imagine a single man stepping into parenthood on his own.


However, there’s another scenario you’re likely overlooking — lesbian couples. At first, the idea that a lesbian couple needs a surrogate seems unnecessary. With two uteruses, the assumption is that conception should be straightforward. Just find the right sperm donor, choose an artificial insemination method, and presto, pregnancy.

Pregnant woman

This is true most of the time. And it’s certainly less common for a lesbian couple to use a surrogate. But their motivations are similar to those of women in heterosexual relationships, gay couples, and single men. Keeping that in mind, let’s explore six reasons why a lesbian couple might take this path.

 

🌈 Want even more queer mom content? 

Start your 7-day free trial and explore our growing library of premium articles.


 

What Is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is an arrangement where a woman carries and gives birth to a child for another person or couple, who will then become the child’s legal parents. It’s often used by individuals or couples who are unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term themselves.


There are two kinds of surrogacy:


Traditional: 

A person with a uterus undergoes artificial insemination using sperm from the intended father or a donor. They then carry and give birth to the baby, who will be raised by the intended parent(s). The surrogate is biologically related to the baby because her egg was fertilized.


Gestational:

In vitro fertilization (IVF) involves collecting eggs from the intended mother or an egg donor, fertilizing them with sperm from the intended father or a sperm donor, and then transferring the embryo into the uterus of the gestational surrogate. The surrogate carries and delivers the baby for the intended parent(s). Since the surrogate’s egg wasn’t used, they don’t have any genetic ties to the baby.

 

🌈 Want even more queer mom content? 

Start your 7-day free trial and explore our growing library of premium articles.


 

6 Reasons Why a Lesbian Couple Would Choose Surrogacy


1. Age

A 2019 study from the U.S. Census found that the median age for women giving birth had reached 30, the highest it’s ever been since the Census Bureau started tracking these statistics.


These figures highlight a growing tendency among women, especially those with higher education, to prioritize their careers and financial stability before starting a family.


While the data didn’t specifically address sexual orientation, it’s safe to assume that lesbian women have the same motivations for delaying parenthood as their straight counterparts. They likely have an even greater incentive, given the huge financial burden associated with bringing a child into the world as an LGBTQ+ person.


As a result, lesbian women and couples may postpone trying to conceive (TTC) until their late thirties or early forties.


Given that female fertility rapidly declines after 35 (a 35-year-old has a 66% chance of conceiving within a year, whereas a 40-year-old has only a 44% chance), some lesbian couples may miss the window of opportunity to conceive using their own eggs or bodies. In these cases, a surrogate can step in to carry the pregnancy and potentially even donate eggs if needed.


2. Uterine issues

Some women have uterine issues that prevent embryos from implanting properly, even when everything else appears to be functioning well.


Common uterine issues that may require the assistance of a surrogate include:


Fibroids:

Noncancerous muscular tissue growths within the uterine wall. They can cause abnormal uterine bleeding, pain, and miscarriages.


Asherman syndrome:

Uterine scarring from previous abdominal surgery.


Bicornuate or double uterus: 

A rare condition where the uterus is divided by a wall or septum, or where there are two separate uteri.


3. Unexplained infertility

Unfortunately, there are times when a women cannot conceive even after several rounds of IVF, despite having healthy eggs and good-quality embryos. The lack of explanation is frustrating, but thankfully gestational surrogacy offers a way forward.

Hands stress and woman with pregnancy test in home for infertility bad news or ovulation planning Sad upset and closeup of female person reading negative medical information on maternity stick

4. Genetic lack of uterus or hysterectomy

A small percentage of women are born without a uterus due to a congenital condition called Mayer–Rokitansky–Küster–Hauser syndrome (MRKH).

Others may have undergone a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer, uterine fibroids, or uterine prolapse.


In both scenarios, they’re unable to carry a pregnancy but may still have functioning ovaries capable of producing eggs for IVF. With the assistance of a surrogate, they can still have a healthy baby that’s genetically related to them.


5. Medical conditions that make pregnancy risky or impossible

Several conditions make it too dangerous for a woman to carry a pregnancy without substantial risk to her life.


Some of these include:

  • Kidney disease

  • Severe diabetes

  • Cancer

  • Severe heart disease or heart defects

  • Autoimmune disorders (e.g. lupus or multiple sclerosis)


If one or both partners is medically unable to carry a pregnancy, then surrogacy is a possible solution.

 

🌈 Want even more queer mom content? 

Start your 7-day free trial and explore our growing library of premium articles.


 

6. Social surrogacy

Social surrogacy is when a woman chooses not to carry her own pregnancy, not because of any medical reason, but simply as a personal choice.


This option is attractive to busy professionals who want to keep their work life separate from pregnancy and protect their careers. Similarly, it benefits people in risky professions, such as pilots or construction supervisors. Finally, it’s popular among actresses, models, and athletes whose professional success depends on maintaining their physique.

Comments


bottom of page