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How to Navigate Being a Single Gay Mom

Updated: Feb 12

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Woman and child

Single and ready to mingle? Or maybe you’ve been solo for some time and are quite happy with that as you raise your kiddos. However you got to motherhood and singlehood, it turns out, many lesbian mamas can relate. 


“I knew deep in my bones that my biggest ambition of all had always been motherhood,” lesbian mother Sadhbh O’Sullivan told Refinery29, “And by the time I was in my 30s, I genuinely was physically, emotionally, and financially dressed for the occasion of parenthood.”


Maybe you had a child from a previous marriage and are now single, or you sought a donor without a partner, and you’re living the life of a single LGBTQ+ parent. Whatever your journey to motherhood has been, we think it’s beautiful and important. 


If you’re feeling a little lost in your single mother journey or want to find community and support, these are four things to keep in mind.


4 Things to Remember as a Gay Single Mom


1. Know that you’re not alone 

In many cultures, singlehood is viewed as a negative thing — but it doesn’t have to be. We’re here to tell you: single living can be beautiful and empowering. And some women choose single motherhood. You’re certainly not alone in the single motherhood way of life.


“As a young girl, I knew three things with certainty: I wanted to be a mom, I wanted to be a writer, and I had crushes on other girls,” writer Lindsay Curtis said in a GQ article, “In some ways, my journey to motherhood turned out to be stranger than the fiction I wrote as a child. At 32-years-old, I gave birth to my daughter Evelyn (which means “wished for child”) as a single mom by choice.”


2. You can create your own single-mom squad

Living the single mom life? You can create your own single lesbian mom squad, you know. Nowadays, with groups rising in your community or even online, there are so many ways to connect with other LGBTQ+ mamas like you. After all, who doesn’t love a squad of awesome female friends?


Like Gay Moms Club — a nationwide inclusive and supportive online community for LGBTQ+ mothers navigating parenthood. With a mission to create a safe space for connection, empowerment, and resource-sharing, you’re sure to meet other single moms and connect on all the single parenting things.


3. You deserve self-care

It can be easy to forget about yourself when you're in the throes of early parenting, bogged down with after-school games, or driving the kiddos to camp. But as a parent, especially as a single parent, remember you deserve some self-care, too.


It doesn't have to be a fancy spa day, either. Self-care can mean attending therapy weekly or setting aside an hour to do a hobby you love, like painting or writing. It can even mean having a get-together with your best friends or watching your favorite TV show. 


If you give yourself time to relax, listen to your inner self, and enjoy the little moments, you'll enjoy and be able to do more as a mom. Be there for yourself; it will help you be there for your children.


4. You’re a super-mom, but you don’t have to do everything alone


Let’s face it: we know you’re a super-mom. But being a super-mom (and a single one) doesn’t mean you have to do everything on your own. It can be beneficial to ask for help when you need it. And for most folks, we’ve all got someone who’d be willing to be a helping hand if we reached out. 


Have a best friend who loves to spend time with the kiddos? Take an afternoon for self-care. Need your mom to pick up the kids once a week from school? Ask away. What about if you need some parenting advice? Ask your single-mom squad or your friends at Gay Moms Club on a discussion board. Whatever it is — don’t be afraid to ask for help.


You’re awesome, so remember it!

All the single ladies, all the single ladies! Remember: you’re incredibly awesome. And as a lesbian single mama, you’re even more amazing. 


 

A vibrant, safe space for LGBTQ+ moms to connect.



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