My Six-Year-Old Came Out Like It Was Nothing
- Megan Neff
- Mar 31
- 3 min read
Updated: Jul 25
He got off the bus and just told us. Casually. Somewhere in the middle of the usual debrief. Who sat where on the bus, what was for lunch, some involved update about something that happened at recess that we could not fully follow.
Someone told me to tell my mom and dad something, and I said…I don’t have a dad.
Then he kept talking. It wasn't the point of the story. It was barely a sentence. He was already onto the next thing before we even had a chance to react.
My wife and I looked at each other over his head.
Some adult… a teacher, a coach, someone who thought they were just passing along a normal message to a normal kid, said mom and dad and my six-year-old just quietly dismantled them and moved on with his day.
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I hope that person thinks about it. I hope they're still thinking about it. I hope it completely reorganized how they talk to kids forever.
My son has already forgotten it happened.
I’ve been coming out, in one form or another, since I was twenty-three. I’ve done it to doctors, teachers, coworkers, dental hygienists, strangers at parties, my favorite bank tellers. I’ve gotten faster at it. I’ve gotten better at reading the room, picking my words, deciding in about half a second how much energy I have and how much I want to get into it.
I have never once made it sound like nothing.
My son made it sound like nothing. Because to him, it is nothing. He had a fact, someone had the wrong fact, he corrected it, he moved on, can we talk about recess now.
I don't know what I expected. We didn't coach him on this specific scenario. We just told him the truth about our family from the beginning and apparently that was enough, because he got on a school bus and handled it better than I would have at forty.
He doesn't know he did anything. He's already completely forgotten about it.
I'm writing a whole essay about it.
That feels about right.
If you’re looking for more on raising emotionally intelligent kids:
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If you’ve ever wondered why your kids behave the way they do, this book is for you! Tiny Humans, Big Emotions is like taking a peek inside your child’s mind. It helps parents like me navigate the difficult terrain of little people’s big emotions with ease. This should be required reading for all parents and caregivers of children!
In Calm the Chaos, Dayna Abraham has thoughtfully considered just about every tricky scenario parents might be navigating with their differently wired kids. The relatable examples, doable actions, game-changing reframes, and sweet visual doodles bring her roadmap to life in a way that feels accessible even for the most overwhelmed parent.
JOIN GAY MOMS CLUB
Gay Moms Club is a welcoming online community for LGBTQ+ moms who want real connection, honest conversations, and friendships that fit into real life.
You shouldn’t have to explain your family before you can make a friend.
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