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Reflections on Queer Motherhood 

Updated: Feb 12

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Lesbian couple

The path of queer motherhood is unique, full of its own beautiful rewards and challenges that arise from creating families and exploring our identities. We celebrate the milestones, from first steps to first days of school to pride parades and more. Though we navigate judgment and lack of support, we find resilience.


As we reflect on the past year and anticipate all that this new year will bring, we share a few stories from queer parents and the lessons they learned over the last twelve months. Their experiences highlight the joys and difficulties of queer parenthood.


Create Boundaries


Sa’iyda Shabazz, a writer, shares in the Queer Mom Chronicles that this past year taught her about balancing boundaries and co-parenting. “Putting your child in someone else’s care, even if they’re other family members, is really f**king hard. Giving him opportunities to spread his wings is important for both of us. But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it!” 


For Shabazz and other single queer moms, finding the balance between allowing their child independence while still maintaining parental boundaries can be a challenging process. But they continue to navigate complex family dynamics with love and care.


Use Your Voice


On "This is Infertility," Jamie Kelton shares the struggles she and her wife faced while trying to get pregnant. The expectations versus reality were very different. It was a long process for her and her wife. "After the last failed IVF, I was devastated." She said in the interview with This is Infertility. This challenge inspired her to create the, The Queer Family Podcast. She felt alone throughout the process and couldn't find stories of queer experiences, so she made a space for them. "We have to do a better job of representing our entire community," Kelton shares.


Queer Family Podcast

The Queer Family Podcast serves as a home for many LGBTQ+ parents, particularly for those facing fertility challenges. She provides a platform that resonates with the unique struggles of the pursuit of parenthood. Her advocacy for broader representation underscores the importance of diverse narratives in the fertility conversation, emphasizing that every family-building story deserves to be heard and acknowledged.


Model the World You Want to Create


Nikkya and Dinushka Hargrove, a same-sex couple and parents of two daughters aged 8, share their experiences raising children on "Gay Parents To Be." As their girls grow up, the mothers aim to equip them with the knowledge and confidence to advocate for their family.


"While the journey to expand our family didn't go as I'd dreamed it would, it worked out how it was meant to. It's all a journey, and each person's experience is so different from the next. In the end, we get to call each other family." Nikkya shares in her article, We Are a Family


By sharing their story, they hope to foster more acceptance and understanding in their community. Nikkya and Dinushka aim to equip their daughters to be ambassadors for the reality and value of families like theirs. By proudly sharing their family's story and seeking to equip their daughters to advocate for diverse families, Nikkya and Dinushka are actively modeling acceptance and inclusivity.


The Path of Queer Motherhood


Queer motherhood embodies resilience and the pursuit of inclusivity, as seen in the personal stories of Sa’iyda Shabazz, Jamie Kelton, and the Hargroves. These narratives highlight the importance of setting boundaries, seeking representation, and advocating for diverse family structures. Through their experiences, queer parents not only strengthen their own family ties but also champion a cultural shift towards greater acceptance. Your actions, no matter how small they may seem, can profoundly impact creating a world where every family is valued and affirmed.


 

A vibrant, safe space for LGBTQ+ moms to connect.

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